they grow up so fast...

This year has been interesting, because while I begin as a youth minister in a brand new parish—learning the ins and outs how to not make a lock-in conflict with volleyball and (this is a new one) trying to figure out a “pastoral” response to illegal spear fishing stories—I’m also watching some of my “first” kiddos experience their first year in the real world via the Twitter and Facebook.  The sixth graders who came to youth group when I was 23 and part-time at my first parish are now all grown up.  So, in the midst of the steady stream of humility that is life as a first year youth minister, I’m also rejoicing in these moments:

The text message that my blog on chaste dating was helpful.

The facebook status update about voting (pro-life) for the first time.

Finding out they’ve applied (and been accepted) to Franciscan University.

A beautiful instagram photo with the caption, “The Lord is everywhere”.

If you’re new to youth ministry and overwhelmed with just how…  young… the kiddos are and find yourself wondering if getting pelted with dodgeballs and shouting a lesson over the din of middle school giggles is EVER going to yield any fruit, know that one day these gangly sixth graders are going to be adults.  And while their parents are the most influential, you may be able to look at their facebook statuses and imagine that the retreats, conferences and conversations you dragged them through did something positive to form them into the Catholic adults they have become.  That is an awesome feeling.

So to all you 23 year olds who are surviving on cold pizza, entry level youth minister salaries and sheer grace, dig in.  The first couple years are tough, but you’re making a difference.  I wish you’d believe me when I say that, but I didn’t so you probably won’t.  However, put prayer first and don’t lose your soul, put yourself second so you don’t burn out—and you’ll be amazed that these kiddos who you once caught playing “lemonade pong” on retreat are now mature, Catholic, adults.  And once you see that first round grow up, the dodge balls don’t feel quite so hard.

the last post from Starbucks...

I’m sitting in “my spot” at “my Starbucks”.  Hilton Head has a truly amazing Starbucks on the North End in Pineland Station.  The layout is awesome with plenty of cushy seats and a “vault” room for those who want a more conferencey setting.  The Baristas are some of the friendliest I’ve ever encountered.  It’s a multi generational crew who include moms, retirees, the occasional hipster and a gal who upon taking my order tonight excitedly showed me her engagement ring. Another barista just gave me a free pastry.  They’ve managed to to take a huge franchise and give it a truly hometown feel.  I love it.

I also love coffee, and people know it.  As a “gold card” holder, I receive gift cards all the time as tokens of appreciation, thanks and birthdays.  It’s a go-to and much appreciated gift for everyone who knows me.  And since I’m a brewed coffee fan-- I don’t need a latte, just a strong dark roast with a bit of cream so my gift cards stretch and I frequent this Starbucks several time a week.

This is why it grieves me that before I get up from this cushy chair, I will be going to www.dumpstarbucks.com and... well... dumping Starbucks.  However, I wanted to blog my reasons because I have an inflated internet-ego and live under the illusion that people sit at home, reading my tweets, dying to know my motivation for doing things.

It was recently announced that Starbucks has adopted “a corporate-wide position that the definition of marriage between one man and one woman should be eliminated and that same-sex marriage should become equally 'normal'”.   To clarify, they didn’t just take a passive, “I’m ok, you’re ok” position.  They’ve stated that it’s one of their “core values” and followed with legal action. It’s this-- their political involvement-- that I find offensive.

I believe that marriage was instituted by God when He created us as male and female, and I believe what the Church teaches-- that it is “ordered toward the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, #1601).  Procreation between a man and a man or a woman and a woman is simply not possible.  Therefore, marriage between a man and a man or a woman and a woman is simply not possible.  Do I love my friends who are attracted to members of the same sex?  you betcha...  Just like I love my friends who choose to use contraception, have sex outside of marriage, etc, etc, etc.  I don’t go around boycotting people just because I disagree with their sexual morality.  Only befriending people we agree with is certainly not what Jesus would do.    My annoyance with Starbucks in no way transfers to anyone living the lifestyle they are seeking to promote.

It’s the audacity of Starbucks-- their attempt to re-define something that God did perfectly fine at creation-- that has me steamed (no pun intended).  It’s their decision to use resources acquired from my purchases to “participate in a legal case seeking to overturn a federal law declaring marriage as the union of one man and one woman.”  It’s this brazen involvement in politics and morality that I simply cannot support.  I realize there are other corporations that I should boycott and I invite you to point them out because these days, as a pro-life Catholic, it’m losing track. However, Starbucks goes first.  They are simply too outspoken to ignore.

But I am really going to miss these cushy chairs.

#StandUpRally

When my friend Anne was teaching English to some spunky Creole girls in Belize, she admonished Sandy Jones, one of the feistiest students in her class.  Sandy turned around and glared at mild-mannered Anne, an English Literature major from Boston who thought nothing of offering a bit of correction.  Sandy's eyes narrowed and she growled (in a tone that would haunt Anne for the rest of the semester and her adult life) "Miss...  You have ignited the wrong flame."  

Anne admitted that while she did not know what exactly that meant, it terrified her.  She learned soon enough that Sandy and her friends would make her life miserable-- talking back, questioning assignments, trying her patience in every way and tormenting subs to the point that no one would cover her class.  While she stood by her initial decision, she learned that she had, indeed "ignited the wrong flame".

Today, in over 140 cities nationwide, there will be rallies to stand up for religious freedom.  The hope is that our President and Congress will see that with the HHS Mandate-- forcing Catholics to violate their consciences and pay for contraception, sterilization and abortions-- they have ignited the wrong flame.  We will speak up, act up and-- if necessary-- resort to civil disobedience-- before we disobey our God.  

We have a cloud of witnesses-- a tradition of over 2000 years of saints and martyrs who have risked their reputations and shed their blood -- and have led us to this moment by their example.  Truth does not change, whether it's accepted and practiced by 100% or .01% of the population. 

Mr. President, you have ignited the wrong flame.  

If you're like me and unable to attend the rallies due to distance or work, do the following:

Pray!  Join the Memorare Novena here.

Share this fact sheet with your friends, explain that this is not a birth control issue, it's a liberty issue.

Call your congress person at the Capitol Switchboard 202-224-3121 and ask them to overturn the HHS Mandate.

Register to vote and vote for a president who will allow us to be Catholic.

#Fathers4Daughters, praying for @PPact

As much as I tell teens that it’s important not to say things on the internet you wouldn’t say in person, sometimes I forget this myself.  Especially these last few weeks-- feelings about abortion, the HHS Mandate, Planned Parenthood, even Susan G. Komen and Nikki Minaj—have been very strong.  

Like many, I follow Planned Parenthood’s twitter-- @PPact—to stay up to date on what they’re up to, and as a sort of evangelizing, I occasionally tag them in tweets when I want to respond to something they’ve said.  It’s the beauty of social media, that everyone has a chance to speak up.  

Yesterday, as I was responding to yet another tweet that I disagreed with, it occurred to me that @PPact is one of the few accounts I frequently tag that I don’t actually know in person.  And then, I began to think that it’s not Planned Parenthood tweeting, per se.  It’s a person.  Well, probably a team of people, but a person nonetheless.  

I started thinking about this.  Wondered about them.  I’m friends with a lot of people—both on twitter and in real life—who I don’t agree with.  I wondered if I met the @PPact tweeter, if we’d get along.  If we could make small talk about shoes and movies, outside of this huge issue that is at the forefront of our disagreements on twitter.  Anne Marie Cribbin and I even invited them to meet up with us for happy hour.  

After reading Unplanned by Abby Johnson, we’re all more aware of the importance of prayer in bringing about a culture of life.  In the middle of 40 days for life, let’s recognize the social media workers behind @PPact and pray for them, specifically.  Not as a nameless organization, but the tweeters, specifically.  They’re just as passionate as we are.  They do their job with a great deal of tenacity.  Their role in promoting Planned Parenthood is critical.  They need our love and prayers. 

There is a great presence of priests and fathers in social media.  Anne Marie Cribbin and Joia Farmer had the great idea to ask priests and fathers to specifically pray for the women behind @PPact.  Priests, who have the special privilege of celebrating mass, are asked to offer masses for @PPact… and announce it on twitter!  Use the hashtag #Fathers4Daughters—stating the truth in love—that God the Father has a plan for each and every life.  That fathers matter.  That spiritual and biological fatherhood changes lives in an earthly and heavenly way.   That the women of @PPact are known, loved and awaited by God.  

I’m praying, specifically, that the women of @PPact encounter the love of God the Father in a real way.  I’m praying that as I continue to speak up in my own little way, protesting what Planned Parenthood does and says, that I do it in charity—with a desire not to win arguments but souls.  

And, I’m praying that that happy hour happens.  Why not?  It’s Lent.  Go big or go home.  

Will you commit to pray for @PPact?  You don't have to follow them, but tweet them when you do.  Remember, love wins.

the HHS mandate: why it's not ok.

When King Henry VIII demanded that his friend St. Thomas More support his divorce and remarriage, the issue was not just the sanctity of marriage.  It was that the king had broken away from the Catholic Church and founded his own system of beliefs that would accommodate him.  Not content to merely violate the authority of God on his own, he demanded that the rest of England accompany him in his dissent.  Given the choice to obey God and his conscience or be beheaded, St. Thomas more chose death.

It seems archaic that a government like the United States of America would dare intervene in the rights of citizens to practice their faith and follow their consciences on private matters.  Lessons about Pilgrims on the Mayflower and freedom of religion come to mind and seem impossible to juxtapose with the recent decision of President Obama to uphold the HHS Mandate. 

It took me a while to wrap my brain around it—probably because I find insurance and law really complicated – but also the concept that someone could force a Church or individual to do what the government is proposing is so foreign to my liberated American brain.  However, let me explain why I—as a Catholic and employee of the Church—am outraged.  If I mess up the technicalities, please feel free to clarify.

As an employee of the Church I currently have benefits—like anyone else—as part of my compensation.  I have never attempted, but apparently under our current plan I would be unable to obtain funding for contraception, sterilization or abortion, which is cool by me because as a Catholic, I'm not down with that..   (I would add that, as the daughter of an insurance salesman, I know that this makes sense from a liability perspective as well.  Multiple sexual partners place women at greater risk for medical issues arising from contracting STD’s and STI’s, so it would seem that insurance companies would not want to encourage any pharmaceuticals that in turn enable such behavior and cause more expenses.  But I digress).

Under the HHS Mandate, my employer, the Catholic Church, will be required to provide benefits that cover contraception, sterilization and abortion.  As in the money that they provide that goes to give me discounted penicillin and trips to the dentist (things that we are not morally opposed to) could be used to fund abortion, contraception and sterilization—things that we, as Catholics, believe to be ineherently wrong. 

Here’s the kicker—(and what I’m hoping I explain correctly)—when the HHS Mandate kicks in, the Church will be fined if they choose to uphold what we believe to be true and what God demands of us as Catholic Christians and refuses to provide these as  “benefits”.  And, I will be fined if I choose to opt out of these benefits.  It’s a lose-lose.  As Archbishop Dolan, president of the USCCB, has said, “Never before has the federal government forced individuals and organizations to go out into the marketplace and buy a product that violates their conscience. This shouldn't happen in a land where free exercise of religion ranks first in the Bill of Rights”. 

Snaps, Archbishop.

And, at the heart of it all is the same issue that St. Thomas More was challenged with.  That the government would mandate funding of abortion, contraception and sterilization is odious to us as Catholics, but more so is the fact that they would have the audacity to overstep our right to practice our faith.  We are not talking about a cult in a compound arranging under-age marriages.  We’re talking about The Catholic Church and the government mandating that we violate our consciences or be punished. 

This is not a “Catholics and birth control” issue.  This is an issue of the Government over-stepping their place and telling Churches what to do.  This is an issue that should concern every citizen—Catholic, Christian—anyone who believes in natural law, religious liberty and the freedom to form their conscience and practice their faith.

St. Thomas More stood up to King Henry VIII and was beheaded.  I think we can all call our congressmen, sign a petition and stay informed..  Most importantly, this Friday is a day of fasting and prayer for our Bishops.  Do it.  They are acting courageously and need our prayers.

Confessions of a Reluctant Virtual Pilgrim

I admit, when I first started reading about making this past week a “virtual pilgrimage” with Pope Benedict XVI while he was at World Youth Day, I scoffed.  I was a “left behind Catholic”.  While the cool kids were sipping sangria and eating tapas, I was meeting students at Starbucks and finalizing the fall schedule.  So when @madrid11_en, @BustedHalo , #CindyWithB16 and @CatholicNewsSvc, @JackieFrancois and the whole bunch from @LifeTeen invited me to “follow them to Spain” I’m not going to lie, my reaction was less than Christian.

My tweets reflected as I schlepped through my Monday, stateside, saying things like, “going to Mass.  Just like all of you in Madrid.  #youarenotthatspecial”.  I don’t have EWTN and wasn’t watching the videos that were being uploaded, but as the week progressed, the candid 140 character updates of both friends and strangers made me start pray about, wonder and appreciate what Team Catholic in Madrid was up to. 

At the risk of over-sentimentalizing a profound reality of our faith, we are the Body of Christ and despite my best efforts to ignore the graces overflowing from Madrid out of jealousy that I wasn’t experiencing it first-hand, I found the updates from the pilgrims about their encounters with each other, the Holy Father and, ultimately Christ to be quite moving.  By Friday, when #ViaCrucis was a world-wide trending topic, I was hooked and proud to know that my brothers and sisters in Christ—most of whom I would not meet until heaven—were, for a few moments, reminding the world what was really important.

Social Media has been blamed for a lot of problems—compromising people’s privacy, a skyrocketing in bullying, a shallowness in relationships based on 140 character spurts in communication—but this past week I begrudgingly admit that I was grateful for those who made my unexpected “virtual pilgrimage” possible, tweeting pictures, stories and quotes from Madrid.   This morning I was genuinely saddened to read all the “adios, Madrid” and “Gracias, B16” in my newsfeed, feeling that although I wasn’t drenched from the rain on Saturday or waking up for mass in a field this morning, social media had given a new dimension to World Youth Day and allowed me to be a prayerful observer across the Atlantic.  As if 1.5 million youth gathering to celebrate being Catholic wasn’t powerful enough, social media allowed so many more to follow and be inspired by their individual experiences.

I’m sure the apostles had no idea that Christ’s command to “make disciples of all nations” would include a digital component in 2011, but I this week, I think social media—especially Twitter—gave us a deeper appreciation for our Catholic—Universal—Church.

Blessed Pope John Paul II, pray for us.

“He helped us not to fear the truth, because truth is the guarantee of liberty…”  (Pope Benedict XVI's Beatification Homily).  This is what we learned from Blessed John Paul II, as a generation formed by the Church he led while the world sank deeper into moral relativism.

Standing in the middle of St. Peter’s Square in August of 2000, jet-lagged, overwhelmed by the crowds of European teens who seemed to have different standards of hygiene than we did, watching the sun set behind the obelisk we chanted, “John Paul II, We love you!” as he entered on the Popemobile and then greeted us in what must have been dozens of languages.  I remember weeping with my friends when we heard him welcome pilgrims from the United States with, “The Pope loves you too!” and realizing—not just knowing from a guide book but realizing in the marrow of my bones, as I stood just feet away from the tomb of St. Peter, in a city where Christians had been fed to lions and celebrated mass in Catacombs—that I was part of a faith that wasn’t something my parents, a self-help book or charismatic personality had invented.  It had been handed down to me, through the apostles, from Christ.  And He was visible in this man’s leadership.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church explained, “the whole concern of doctrine and its teaching must be directed to the love that never ends.  Whether something is proposed for belief, for hope or for action, the love of our Lord must always be made accessible, so that anyone can see that all the works of perfect Christian virtue spring from love and have no other objective than to arrive at love”.  When Blessed Pope John Paul II took office, people feared that the younger generations had come to see the Church as irrelevant, old fashioned and not worth the time we could spend reading the Wall Street Journal, drinking Mimosas on Sunday mornings. 

So what does Blessed Pope John Paul II do?  Spends the first six years of his Pontificate clarifying God's plan for sex.  Gathers millions of young people for World Youth Days.   As Pope Benedict XVI explained, “What the newly-elected Pope asked of everyone, he was himself the first to do: society, culture, political and economic systems he opened up to Christ, turning back with the strength of a titan – a strength which came to him from God – a tide which appeared irreversible. By his witness of faith, love and apostolic courage, accompanied by great human charisma, this exemplary son of Poland helped believers throughout the world not to be afraid to be called Christian, to belong to the Church, to speak of the Gospel.”  He taught doctrine in love, out of a tangible concern for our health and happiness.  Recognizing, like a loving parent, the importance of challenging us with the truth.  He showed us that the Church was truly our “travelling companion”.  That we belong to, and are called to heaven.
 
As I read my friend’s statuses and chat about the beatification today I see a generation whose lives are deeply affected by the witness this man gave us, calling us to holiness when many in the world were content to let self-destruct. Blessed Pope John Paul II… Continue to pray for us.

Blessed are you, beloved Pope John Paul II, because you believed! Continue, we implore you, to sustain from heaven the faith of God’s people. You often blessed us in this Square from the Apostolic Palace: Bless us, Holy Father! Amen. -Pope Benedict XVI.

  

sacramental chaos

Every Taco Tuesday I tell myself to not drink so much sweet tea.  Yet every Tuesday evening finds me overly-caffeinated, and if there's no Glee and grape slushies (like tonight), attacking tasks that require energy and not too much thought.  Tonight I tackled my office.

Because my parish is awesome, I have an office to match.  This year youth ministry went from a small classroom where I barricaded my desk in the corner with coolers and rubbermaid tubs to keep the dodgeballs from hitting my computer to a truly amazing multi-purpose room with a youth room and separate corner office.  It's exactly the type of office they warn you you'll never get if you work for the Church.  Kids, sometimes "they" don't know what they're talking about.  Remember that.

Anyways, the only problem with this is that while I'm not a "leave old dishes that grow mold in my bookshelves" dirty, I am "why file paper when stacks on my printer, fridge and sacred spaces make it so much easier to find necessary paperwork" cluttered.  Also, I've found parents are delighted to fill out the same permission slip three times, should it get mis-filed.  

Actually, I should work on that.

This is especially awkward since, as a corner office, everyone walking by can see.  I am well aware that stacks of paper, 3 starbucks cups and a tooth brush littering my desk doesn't exactly say, "hi, I'm a professional you can trust with your children" so I try to attack it every couple weeks.  Tonight, as I was madly chucking christmas cards and permission slips from 2007, I encountered a conundrum.  A water bottle that I had been using for holy water.  This bottle has caused me sacramental awkwardness before, but now it was finally almost empty-- save a few droplets-- and I absentmindedly chucked it in the trash.  Then I realized this is a sacramental...  We don't throw out prayer books, rosaries or other sacred objects (not because we believe they are gods, but out of respect for the God they remind us of), so I rescued it and set it on my desk and wondered...  what do I do with a bottle that held holy water?  Well, what would anyone do...  I consulted social media.  I'm always amazed how #teamcatholic comes through with some great (never sarcastic) responses when posed with a ministry question.  I got some pretty amazing answers that needed to be shared:

MarianneSkees our thoughts here are that if it's dried out you're fine

RealMichaelW or burn it.

lucashennessey I think you'd be ok to pitch it...if you're REALLY feelin' cautious, you could bury it...

(which, I think would be bad karma from St. Francis...  holy water or not, plastic's not biodegradable).

churchmankirk  i'd say it could be recycled. The melting down is basically like the burning that's acceptable for blessed object

DorianSpeed Ooh - tough one. I'd fill it with non-holy h2o, pour that onto the ground, then dispense with the bottle.

LT_TheBiblegeek Go to a wake and sneak it into the open casket during the viewing. #Catholic #reverent #efficient

And that was not all.  Facebook also held answers:

hmm add more holy water next time your at Church and keep it a Holy Water container! Make it easy on yourself!

The truly PC thing to do would be to throw it at a vampire who has a large carbon footprint.

Can't you rinse it out really well in the church's special sink?

melt it into a statuette of Jesus. He won't mind.

Throw it away followed by 3 Hail Marys, that's what I do.

So... Thanks, internet.  I am overwhelmed with options.  After careful consideration...  I think I'll just leave it on my desk indefinitely.  A paperweight for expired permission slips.

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