the last post from Starbucks...

I’m sitting in “my spot” at “my Starbucks”.  Hilton Head has a truly amazing Starbucks on the North End in Pineland Station.  The layout is awesome with plenty of cushy seats and a “vault” room for those who want a more conferencey setting.  The Baristas are some of the friendliest I’ve ever encountered.  It’s a multi generational crew who include moms, retirees, the occasional hipster and a gal who upon taking my order tonight excitedly showed me her engagement ring. Another barista just gave me a free pastry.  They’ve managed to to take a huge franchise and give it a truly hometown feel.  I love it.

I also love coffee, and people know it.  As a “gold card” holder, I receive gift cards all the time as tokens of appreciation, thanks and birthdays.  It’s a go-to and much appreciated gift for everyone who knows me.  And since I’m a brewed coffee fan-- I don’t need a latte, just a strong dark roast with a bit of cream so my gift cards stretch and I frequent this Starbucks several time a week.

This is why it grieves me that before I get up from this cushy chair, I will be going to www.dumpstarbucks.com and... well... dumping Starbucks.  However, I wanted to blog my reasons because I have an inflated internet-ego and live under the illusion that people sit at home, reading my tweets, dying to know my motivation for doing things.

It was recently announced that Starbucks has adopted “a corporate-wide position that the definition of marriage between one man and one woman should be eliminated and that same-sex marriage should become equally 'normal'”.   To clarify, they didn’t just take a passive, “I’m ok, you’re ok” position.  They’ve stated that it’s one of their “core values” and followed with legal action. It’s this-- their political involvement-- that I find offensive.

I believe that marriage was instituted by God when He created us as male and female, and I believe what the Church teaches-- that it is “ordered toward the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, #1601).  Procreation between a man and a man or a woman and a woman is simply not possible.  Therefore, marriage between a man and a man or a woman and a woman is simply not possible.  Do I love my friends who are attracted to members of the same sex?  you betcha...  Just like I love my friends who choose to use contraception, have sex outside of marriage, etc, etc, etc.  I don’t go around boycotting people just because I disagree with their sexual morality.  Only befriending people we agree with is certainly not what Jesus would do.    My annoyance with Starbucks in no way transfers to anyone living the lifestyle they are seeking to promote.

It’s the audacity of Starbucks-- their attempt to re-define something that God did perfectly fine at creation-- that has me steamed (no pun intended).  It’s their decision to use resources acquired from my purchases to “participate in a legal case seeking to overturn a federal law declaring marriage as the union of one man and one woman.”  It’s this brazen involvement in politics and morality that I simply cannot support.  I realize there are other corporations that I should boycott and I invite you to point them out because these days, as a pro-life Catholic, it’m losing track. However, Starbucks goes first.  They are simply too outspoken to ignore.

But I am really going to miss these cushy chairs.

The Dilemma

My friends talked me into seeing The Dilemma  last Friday.  For the record, I wanted to see How Do You Know because I find Owen Wilson endearing, but I was outnumbered and having one of those evenings where I desperately needed to interact with adults who didn’t know or care about Selena Gomez, so  if it meant spending $7.50 on a movie I didn’t know much about or up until that point have any desire to see, I was in.  I figured between Vince Vaughn and a PG-13 rating, I was probably going to be entertained and not too offended. If nothing else, I could catch up on sleep in a room where my cell phone doesn't get reception.

Disclaimer #1:  The rest of this contains a few minor spoilers.  Nothing a smart person wouldn't figure out, and   no one sees dead people, but you get the idea.

Disclaimer #2: I wouldn’t recommend this film to teens, my pastor or my mom.  It’s definitely a rental…  if that…  You will see someone’s naked (tattooed) backside, couples cohabitate and there are no absolute moral lessons to be learned.  Did I just give enough disclaimer to write about it?  No one’s gonna rush off and show it to their youth group cause they saw me tweet about?  We savvy?

That all being said, it was an interesting examination of honesty, marriage and hope.  It was also really funny.  I’ve been thinking about it all weekend. 

Lying and evading the truth catches up with everyone.  The basic plot is that Vince Vaughn’s character—a 40 year old guy, dating a great girl he’s summoning the strength to propose too—discovers his bff’s wife is having an affair.  Distraught over this and it's implications for marriage in general, he doesn’t know how to tell his best friend and doesn’t confide in his girlfriend.  While making for a hilarious plot, many can sympathize with the angst of being caught in the middle of drama.  It’s painful examination of how humans are community and there’s no such thing as a personal sin--  it affects everyone.

Their treatment of the struggles of marriage were sad and secular—you recognize that the couple had given up on each other and the tragic consequences of that.  I also felt that there was an unfair emphasis on the evil of the wife's affair while the husband's visit to "massage parlors" was shrugged off...  However, there was a surprising display of hope (and classic chick-flick cheese, I concede) when Vaughn’s character, rather than succumb to the idea that fidelity in marriage is a myth, decides to propose anyways.  An interesting example of, where sin increases, grace abounds that I wouldn't expect Hollywood to develop but which still gives the viewer a lot to think about.  What makes people persevere, even when they're surrounded by bad examples? Grace, of course...  And Vaughn's character demonstrates a surprising amount of it from overcoming addiction, to fumbling through a prayer when he doesn't know what to do and his ultimate somewhat courageous decision to give marriage a go.

It’s only a movie, but it has had me thinking all weekend about community, sin and grace.  And, ultimately, hope that we haven’t completely lost sight of the idea of marriage… yet.