why I'll eat meat today...

Today I’ll eat meat.  And drink beer.  And it's not "cheating".

I remember the first time I learned about solemnities during Lent.  It occurred, conveniently, during my freshman year of college when I had given up chocolate.  A box of fresh-baked cookies arrived in my mailbox from a well-intentioned friend.  As I sat in mass that evening, mourning the tragedy of allowing them to go to waste, the priest celebrating explained that it was the solemnity of the Feast of St. Joseph—that we were “allowed” and even encouraged to celebrate the feast day by partaking in whatever we had given up.

This caused a small existential crisis.  As a child I had always scoffed at those who “give up Lent on Sundays”.  I was homeschooled, after all.  A hardcore Catholic who knew prayers in Latin, not one of those slackers who gave up something random like blue starburst for Lent so that it’d be so easy they didn’t even remember what it was by Palm Sunday.  I did not “take Sundays off”.  However, in my short time at Franciscan I was realizing that perhaps my approach to faith had been a bit too regimented-- A lot about my will power and not so much about God acting.

Franciscan was the first time I really tried to incorporate the liturgy into life, realizing if the Church had lived this “schedule” for 2000 years there must be something to it.  I began to get into morning and evening prayer, celebrate special feast days, Lord’s Days and tried to reserve the Sabbath for God.  There’s a real benefit to taking advantage of earthly reminders to remember eternal realities. 

I ate the chocolate chip cookies that day, in honor of St. Joseph.  And ever since then, I have celebrated Sundays and solemnities in Lent.  Everyone's heard that Sundays don’t count as the forty days and all the theological reasons, but I’ve found that personally, it just allows me to experience the whole liturgical cycle better.  For example, if I go without chocolate or a glass of wine with dinner all week and then partake to celebrate on Sunday, it’s a physical reminder of an intangible reality.  Refocused in that way, the sacrifices of the week are more meaningful.

When it comes to the Sunday debate about Lenten sacrifices, I don’t judge either way.  
But I'm not cheating, I'm celebrating.  That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Except on Sundays and Solemnities.

#winning...

Originally Published Tuesday, March 15, 2011 in The Bluffton Packet

Even if you're not one of the more than two million people following Charlie Sheen on Twitter, you're probably aware of what he's been up to.

I admit, while I usually don't pay much attention to celebrities, when Sheen's rants show up on TV or the Internet, I can't look away. On his profile, Sheen states that he is an "unemployed winner" and says things like, "Winning! Bring it!"

Overnight, "winning" has become the go-to word to describe every ridiculous idea that people choose to act on. I'm not saying it's the end of the world, but Sheen is a blatant example of what St. Paul described in his letter to the Philippians when he warned that many "conduct themselves as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their end is destruction. Their God is their stomach; their glory is in their 'shame'" (Philippians 3:18-19).

Sheen, sadly, seems to be living this out almost to the point of parody.

What I find more disturbing than Sheen's actions, though, is the way the world is looking at him as a sort of example -- affirming his claim that he is "winning." While most of us probably will never live quite as fast as Sheen has, we all have moments in which we confuse "winning" with, well, the opposite.

Since the original sin of Adam, we struggle against temptation. For most of us, those temptations are minor, like gossip or laziness. But it's these small sins that start to lead us away. Sheen probably did not wake up one morning and decide to use cocaine (or, excuse me, "buy it," as he's been quick to point out in interviews), but whenever we allow our "god" to be our stomach, we set ourselves up for more trouble.

I write this with ashes smudged on my forehead. By the time you read this, we will be one week into Lent. When I received my ashes this morning, I was told, "Remember... you are dust and to dust you will return" (Genesis 3:19). For the next 40 days, we focus on acts of prayer, fasting and almsgiving (sharing what we have with others) to remind our stomachs -- our desires -- that they are not the boss of us.

Pope Benedict XVI states that because we constantly "strive for emancipation from God's will in order to follow himself alone, faith will always appear as a contradiction to the world."

While Sheen is an extreme example, we need to be constantly aware of the ways that the world defines "winning" as contrary to what we are called to as those made in the image of God, called to be with him forever in heaven.

The pope continues that Christ alone "is the reference point of the righteous life, its goal and its center." When the world ends, there will be "winners." Don't miss out on the opportunity Lent provides to truly understand what this means.

#gleefail

Glee, Glee, Glee, Glee, Glee...

I love your snark.  Your witty dialogue.  I love how you portray Kurt’s relationship with his Dad…  How you give me hope that if arts can triumph over cheerleading and football, then maybe someday youth ministry will too (a stretch, I know, but just go with it).

The episode you aired this week was, by far, your worst.  I don’t look to you as a moral compass, simply to be entertained by the keen insights you have into the personalities of teenagers.  Often, you can perceive the exact reason I love teens—how they can be slightly self-absorbed one minute and then completely transformed by their motivation to help others the next.  You take no prisoners and mock everyone.

However, this week you sunk to the sensationalized sexuality that is the reason I hate most programs about teens.  You glamorized sexual experimentation, gave mixed messages and had some very naughty prop placement that I can’t even describe (and I was homeschooled.  So if I picked up on it, you’re just sick…)

Plus, what’s with “celibacy”?  NO ONE uses that word. 

With the exception of the talk that Kurt’s dad gave him (while slightly misguided—still a poignant demonstration of his hope for his son) and clarifying that anyone under 18 making a sex tape is producing child porn and could go to jail —none of your adult characters provided any useful information to teens who were confused.  Teens are capable of courage (lest we forget Jordin Sparks dishing on promise rings at the VMA's back in 2008).  When your hormones are catapulting and you’re trying to survive high school, what teens need to be told is that they are stronger than their feelings…  not that any form of experimentation is ok, provided it’s to a perky soundtrack.

I don’t expect a television show to form teens in virtue.  However, this week’s episode was an awkward mash-up of “Skins”, public service announcements and mediocore music.  And not even funny.

In hectic lives, it's the small moments that count most

Originally published in The Bluffton Packet, February 28, 2010

I rarely arrive at work before our parochial school begins, which is at something like 8 a.m. -- an hour when I doubt even God is awake. But the other day I was in my office at 7:30 a.m., my eyeballs propped open with caffeine, watching the kiddos being dropped off for school, and I saw something that really left an impression on me.

I already thought it was pretty benevolent of parents to give their kids a ride to school -- my friends and I, back in the day, used to have to take what we affectionately referred to as "the big cheese," aka the bus.

Then I saw something that restored my faith in humanity, at least for the next few hours. A father, dressed for work, got out of his car and tossed a football with his son on the lawn for a few minutes before school. It was so Hallmark meets Norman Rockwell that I wanted to take a picture of it -- but quickly realized that would be creepy.

Instead, I reflected on the moment. It's clichè to say, but it's actions like this one that make all the difference for kids.

I once saw a billboard outside of a church that read, "Kids spell 'love' 'T-I-M-E." There are so many big decisions to make as a parent -- where to send your kids to school, who their pediatrician should be, whether the kids should play soccer or baseball -- that the smaller things, like just spending a few minutes truly focused on each other, can get lost in the shuffle.

I can only imagine how difficult it is for families to make "T-I-M-E" in their incredibly busy lives, especially on those days when the kids are just not that easy to be around. I'm sure there are days when it would be tempting to drop off the kids at school early and then use those extra minutes to run to Starbucks before work. But, as a parent, you are the most important person in your child's world. Don't take this as a guilt trip, but as encouragement. Study after study shows this is true -- that's why so much money is put into the "Parents: The anti-drug" campaign.

It might take a village to raise a child, but you are the only permanent residents. The coolest teachers and coaches (and even youth ministers having a great hair day) do not have the same influence as you do.

The beauty of this is that making a difference and being present in your child's life doesn't require fancy activities, expensive programs or grand plans.

Just you.

The football toss I witnessed is just one example of a parent taking time out of the day to be present for his son. Other great opportunities for stealing a moment are: during car trips -- with the radio and phones shut off, of course -- while grocery shopping, at dinnertime or even doing household chores together, such as cooking or cleaning. I know that these are the moments I remember most from my childhood. As a bonus, that question or issue your kids really want to talk to you about most likely will bubble to the surface during these moments together -- when their guards are down and they feel most at ease.

Parents have the hardest job in the world -- long hours, lots of sacrifice, rarely being thanked or acknowledged for your effort. But persevere. Your love makes all the difference.

The House You're Building

Today I talked to some middle school girls about-- to keep it generic-- friendship.  It was the typical "we all want to fit in but what's really important" chat, but I used The House You're Building by Audrey Assad as an introduction. What was really effective was this clip where she explains the song.  She says that it's about being a "misfit" and I have to say, when these middle schoolers heard her talking about how she still feels awkward and that we all have moments of feeling like we don't fit--  well, it resonated.  I think sometimes I forget that despite their matching school uniforms, none of them really feel like they fit in.  

The song led into a great discussion about how when we try to fit in with each other it will only leave us exhausted and disappointed-- the important thing is that Christ is our foundation, He won't disappoint, and His Church offers us a place to belong.  Like I said, the usual stuff.  But starting with this tune reached them.

While I love Audrey Assad, It hadn't occurred to me to use this song for this purpose until my friend Joanna suggested it. Just throwing it out there for y'all.

sacramental chaos

Every Taco Tuesday I tell myself to not drink so much sweet tea.  Yet every Tuesday evening finds me overly-caffeinated, and if there's no Glee and grape slushies (like tonight), attacking tasks that require energy and not too much thought.  Tonight I tackled my office.

Because my parish is awesome, I have an office to match.  This year youth ministry went from a small classroom where I barricaded my desk in the corner with coolers and rubbermaid tubs to keep the dodgeballs from hitting my computer to a truly amazing multi-purpose room with a youth room and separate corner office.  It's exactly the type of office they warn you you'll never get if you work for the Church.  Kids, sometimes "they" don't know what they're talking about.  Remember that.

Anyways, the only problem with this is that while I'm not a "leave old dishes that grow mold in my bookshelves" dirty, I am "why file paper when stacks on my printer, fridge and sacred spaces make it so much easier to find necessary paperwork" cluttered.  Also, I've found parents are delighted to fill out the same permission slip three times, should it get mis-filed.  

Actually, I should work on that.

This is especially awkward since, as a corner office, everyone walking by can see.  I am well aware that stacks of paper, 3 starbucks cups and a tooth brush littering my desk doesn't exactly say, "hi, I'm a professional you can trust with your children" so I try to attack it every couple weeks.  Tonight, as I was madly chucking christmas cards and permission slips from 2007, I encountered a conundrum.  A water bottle that I had been using for holy water.  This bottle has caused me sacramental awkwardness before, but now it was finally almost empty-- save a few droplets-- and I absentmindedly chucked it in the trash.  Then I realized this is a sacramental...  We don't throw out prayer books, rosaries or other sacred objects (not because we believe they are gods, but out of respect for the God they remind us of), so I rescued it and set it on my desk and wondered...  what do I do with a bottle that held holy water?  Well, what would anyone do...  I consulted social media.  I'm always amazed how #teamcatholic comes through with some great (never sarcastic) responses when posed with a ministry question.  I got some pretty amazing answers that needed to be shared:

MarianneSkees our thoughts here are that if it's dried out you're fine

RealMichaelW or burn it.

lucashennessey I think you'd be ok to pitch it...if you're REALLY feelin' cautious, you could bury it...

(which, I think would be bad karma from St. Francis...  holy water or not, plastic's not biodegradable).

churchmankirk  i'd say it could be recycled. The melting down is basically like the burning that's acceptable for blessed object

DorianSpeed Ooh - tough one. I'd fill it with non-holy h2o, pour that onto the ground, then dispense with the bottle.

LT_TheBiblegeek Go to a wake and sneak it into the open casket during the viewing. #Catholic #reverent #efficient

And that was not all.  Facebook also held answers:

hmm add more holy water next time your at Church and keep it a Holy Water container! Make it easy on yourself!

The truly PC thing to do would be to throw it at a vampire who has a large carbon footprint.

Can't you rinse it out really well in the church's special sink?

melt it into a statuette of Jesus. He won't mind.

Throw it away followed by 3 Hail Marys, that's what I do.

So... Thanks, internet.  I am overwhelmed with options.  After careful consideration...  I think I'll just leave it on my desk indefinitely.  A paperweight for expired permission slips.

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eating is not a bad thing

Eating is good for you.

No, really.

Sometimes I forget that there seems to be an unending war on food in society.  However, the past few weeks it has come up repeatedly in conversation.  What really jolted me was that it’s come up in multiple conversations about the Eucharist.

In the midst of talking about the source and summit of our faith, of Christ’s body and blood given to us for our consumption, the comment I’ve heard frequently in the last few weeks is, “why would Jesus do that when bread is so bad?”

Whoa, boy.

My first reaction is, “wasn’t the Atkins diet like, so early 90’s?”  But the kids stating this aren’t old enough to remember the days when everyone ordered meat with a side of meat smothered in cheese.  Then my inner catechist wants to explain that it’s only the appearance of bread, and explain transubstantiation.  But then I  realize the problem isn’t belief..  The problem is that it’s food.  (Well, and of course we're in a crisis of faith here, people don't believe, we all know that.  But could part of the reason that people don't believe be because of their fear of carbs?  is that crazy?)

Lately I’ve been observing an unprecedented loathing of food, especially among teens.  That attitude of, “this [insert item of choice:  pizza, sandwich, popcorn, chocolate, etc] is bad for me, I shouldn’t be eating it” is the consistent approach to food of any kind.  We all eat things we shouldn’t but lately the kiddos are forgetting that the body does require a certain amount of calories to function each day.  Unless you’ve got a gluten or wheat allergy, bread is not a bad thing.

If we’re teaching kids that Jesus is the “Bread of Life”, it’s not going to have the desired effect if they hear bread and think, “food is evil” instead of “that which has nourished humanity since before manna appeared in the desert”. 

Culturally, there’s obvious contributing factors like skinny supermodels and diet trends.  However, I think there’s more to it.  Dinner time as a family rarely happens—taking away the community aspect that food once had.  The way food is portioned now—100 calorie packs, light yogurt that tastes like black forest cake, smoothie supplements— means that even when we eat, the goal is to be as close to not eating as possible.  When I hear youth talk about food, it’s always in apologetic tones, as if eating were equivalent to smoking or skipping school.  No joke, I hear conversations like, “today, I forgot to do my homework” and then, “yeah, well I ate lunch…  Ugh…  Fail”.

Today's Second Reading reminds us that our bodies are the temple of God.  Eating is building up the temple of the Lord (not a basilica rotunda—but we’ve definitely taken the other extreme).  I’m not lamenting that everyone’s got an eating disorder or about the shallow images of beauty that we fixate on as a culture.  I’m stepping back and realizing that our warped understanding of food has finally trickled down to how we perceive the source and summit of our Christian life. 

I’m not quite sure where to begin to address this. Anyone find anything that works?