Confessions of a March for Lifer

I admit it.  I never would've brought the kiddos to the March for Life if Sister Mary Joseph hadn't done it first.  Back in 2009—my first year full-time at St. Francis, she blusters into my room right around this time in January with a scrap of paper she's been taking notes on and says, "hey.  Alison.  Will you be a chaperone for the march for Life?" 

"uh, you mean next year?"  The March was in two weeks.  There was no way she was pulling this off.

"no.  We spent all of math class planning it.  The kids have it all figured out."  She explained.

"You planned a trip to the March for Life, in two weeks, in one 8^th grade Math class?"…  This was gonna be good.  And, sure enough, they had.  They had found drivers, chaperones and basically mapped out the whole trip.  That was how I found myself, two weeks later, in a Honda Odyssey with three middle school boys, a Dad and a Dominican (There were girls too…  But I got put in the boys van?) speeding to Washington, DC at 4:00 a.m.

I would never have attempted this trip.  Frankly, the March for Life scared me.  I had gone when I was in college but the thought of bringing kids from Hilton Head to a huge crowd, in a city, in the middle of winter just seemed potentially catastrophic.  Plus, I thought it was one of those things that people would be all like, "oh, yeah, sounds great" and then not actually go.

What initially seemed to be a moment of insanity on the part of Sister Mary Joseph was actually a great trip.  The kids loved the Catholic Youth Rally, seeing the National Basillica and marching with hundreds of thousands through the capitol.  One of the kids, absolutely agog at the crowds asked me, said to me, "this happens every year?"

"yep.  Every year"  I replied.

"then HOW is there still abortion?"  He marveled.

That first group of six kids came home so fired up about the march for life that last year I conceded that maybe we could attempt an organized trip last year.  It was epic.  We had 35 kids and 15 adults sign up to drive all night, sleep on a floor and be freezing.  Plus, the parish supported us in a huge way—everyone told the kids how proud they were that St. Francis would be representing them.  I couldn't believe it.

The thing about the March is that it gives teens—who are very passionate about their beliefs—a forum to express them.  They love the idea of suffering for a cause that they feel strongly about.  They've written great essays and defenses of life, explained to teachers, coaches, bosses and friends where they're going and even recruited friends to come. 

This year we're bringing 38 teens and 12 adults.  I've started having nightmares about busses showing up on the wrong day and kids getting lost in DC, but as much sleep as I loose in the weeks leading up to the March for Life, I think I'd lose more if we didn't do anything.  Seeing the kids get so indignant about abortion reminds me that this law of our land is just not right.  They're enthusiastic and young and many don't understand everything that has to happen for the law of the land to change but watching them I am actually inspired by this naiveté…  ready to chant in the streets of DC, "hey, ho, hey, ho, Roe v. Wade has got to go!", ask "what the FOCA?" and, basically, remind the world that life is very good.

what I liked in 2010

It may be pretentious of me to think you care, but in the spirit of New Years, I made a list of some people/places/things and apostolates that I've discovered or come to love more in 2010...  In case you haven't heard.  (By the way, I discovered Glee in the fall of 2009...  I didn't forget).  

Here ya go:

5thousand.  Two guys from SC who have put together a great retreat ministry.  They got my too-cool-for-school kiddos singing, praying and into the sacraments.  Plus they played well with others (in this case it was APeX Ministies).  All solid.  But if you haven’t heard of 5thousand (cause they're new-er-ish) check them out.

Seraphic Singles Blog.  (NOT a catholic match making service).  This blog is Ben and Jerry’s for your heart, mind and soul.  She's snarky.  And she’ll help you be holy. 

Stuff Christians Like.  Cause Christians are funny and we need to laugh at ourselves.  John Acuff is a genius.

The Middle.  I got my mom the first season of this series and it’s pro-family, pro-marriage, pro-laugh-at-how-awkward-family-life-can-be.  I don't know when Reverend  Tom Tom, the youth minister shows up, but that makes it even better.

Snuggies.  A blanket with sleeves.  I converted when Hilton Head froze over last January and I’ve never looked back.  Do I do the macarena in it?  You'll never know.

This American Life.  The stories this NPR series tells will make you laugh, cry and sit in a parking lot on the edge of your seat cause you have to know how it ends.  There's also a podcast.  I highly recomend it.  Coming in close second is The Moth.

Martha Fernandez-Sardina. This evangelist gave a talk at the St. John Bosco conference this summer that had everyone on the edge of their seat.  She’ll be coming to Fire at the Beach on Hilton Head in September of 2011.  Save the date.

The Pioneer Woman.  She makes me want to cook.  And homeschool.  And she makes them both seem cool.

Catholic Youth Ministry's Teen Girl Squad/Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants...  or something like that:  Ann Marie Cribbin, Tammy Evevard,  Joia Farmer and  Judy McDonald.  I’m always inspired when I see women leading in youth ministry... it happens less than you think.  I was really excited find these women on twitter and hear youth ministry with a distinctly feminine voice.  Often youth ministry has a very “I play fantasy football and Halo 3” flavor and it’s cool to hear from the perspective of bedazzled True Religions and glitter.  

Cornhole.  I don’t know if it’s the complex scoring system, the Midwest flavor or the fact that it’s replaced conversation at bars.  But I love it.  We got the youth group's set from Bluffton Cornhole.  They look awesome.

NCCYM.  While it had it’s share of cheese, I’m glad I went.  Part workshop, part conference, part reunion, part...  well, there were lots of parts...  but the Saturday Night Comedy was especially epic.

Family Honor.  An organization in South Carolina that’s teaching the virtue of Chastity to Families.  They’re accomplishing what Pope John Paul II challenged us to do in The Truth and meaning of Human Sexuality and it’s awesome.  

The Catholic Drinkie  is filling an interesting role in showing the lighter side of Catholicism...  I realized this when some of my friends on twitter who are very much not Catholic started following her...  and talking to her about the faith.  She's capturing an essential aspect of Catholic culture and reaching out to non-Catholics in the process.  Snaps.

our latest favorite thing...

I scored this Christmas.

I had a feeling it would go over well, but my mom is loving Season One of The Middle.  Sadly, it's one of the few shows not streaming on Hulu right now but you can netflix the first season or just pick up in the middle of the second.

It's awesome because it's hilarious and portrays the essence of family in a really positive way.  The parents-Patricia Heaton and Neil Flynn-- aren't infallible but unlike most shows on TV these days they're not clueless and give their kids good advice and set a good example.  And did I mention it's just really really funny? 

Watch now.  Thank me later.

Jesus is coming. Let's make Room at the Inn.

The Island Packet shared this today.

My good friend Anne went to visit the Missionaries of Charity (Mother Teresa's community) and ended up volunteering in the kitchen.  She was under the direction of a Sister who kept urging her, "Jesus is coming!  Jesus is coming!  We must prepare the soup!  We must cut the onions!"  Anne began cutting onions and the Sister told her, "NOT THAT WAY!  Go get the tomatoes!"  Flustered, Anne went to get the tomatoes and continued to help prepare lunch.  After lunch had been served the Sister realized she had overwhelmed Anne a bit.  She assured my friend, "If you are called to join our Community, God will give you the grace to cut onions correctly". 

She requested Anne everyday after that.

The Missionaries of Charity have got it right.  They don't say "the poor, the needy, the people with poor judgment, the people that didn't plan ahead, etc. are coming".  No.  To them, it's Jesus.  Jesus is coming.

It's December 23.  Jesus is coming.  We need to make some Room at the Inn.  I'm a youth minister on a budget, but I clicked on their pay-pal link and gave what I could.  I challenge you to do the same. 

Amidst all your preparations for Christmas, remember that Jesus is coming.

not quite, colbert...

My crunchy granola Christian friends have been sharing this on Facebook this week.  I'm not a religious follower of the Colbert Report, but I find his snarky take on the news to be pretty funny and this is certainly no exception.  ("I make my kids play Christbox"...  classic).

However, while everyone flutters to upload this video, commenting that he makes some good points in hopes to appear hip and free-thinking despite their Christian affiliations (and I'm not judging.  I love you hipsters and tea party people and regular party people and...  well, you get it.  I love you all) but I just have to pipe up with a quick "Jesus wasn't affiliated with any political party" and I get really cranky when people imply that just because I'm not in favor of government programs doesn't mean that I'm sitting here, drinking champagne from my red-soled jimmy choos, not caring about the fate of my neighbor. 


I'm just a fan of the principle of subsidiarity.  In the Catechism, # 1894 it's explained that "neither the state nor any larger society should substitute itself for the initiative and responsibility of individuals and intermediary bodies".  In plain language, we need to be helping each other-- not leaving it up to the state.  Individuals and charitable organizations do a pretty decent job.  The danger of all these government programs being created is that people are forgetting that it IS our responsibility to care for the poor-- not just pay our taxes and hope that it all works out in allocated aid funding.  I know this system can't be fixed overnight, but don't shirk personal responsibility by saying it's what Jesus would do.  He didn't do politics.

homeschooling 101

Yesterday I tweeted Marc Cardaronella about my formula for producing non-awkward homeschoolers and it's slightly more than 140 characters so it ends up here.  I should clarify that I have tremendous respect for parents and think they have the hardest job in the world.  I don't believe there's a definitive answer for where or how to school your children, as long as it's not in the Hitler Youth.  I truly think that the only universal method of parenting is frequenting the sacraments and eating together as a family as often as possible.

However, as a product of homeschooling, I am quick to both defend my upbringing and harshly criticize the lifestyle when I think it's going awry because it gives everyone a bad rep (example:  raising kids in tents with nothing but a bible as a text book).  My parents didn't originally homeschool for religious reasons (I was struggling in school and was too shy to speak up to get help.  If you can believe that.  The quiet thing was a short-lived phase) but then we were learning so much as a family from Seton- the curriculum we used- that they just never stopped.

Now, I could go on and on about how brainy my siblings are (I was never "that kid" at the National Spelling Bee or editing Encyclopedias, but I do credit the attention I finally received at the kitchen table with giving me the skills to balance my check book and write a thesis statement) but what I think is a real success is general social awareness.

A lot of people are quick to defend the social awkwardness of some homeschoolers with, "if they're awkward at home they'd probably be awkward at school too".  Maybe.  However, my friends and I did an informal survey among our college classmates and discovered that of all who had been homeschooled-- the ones who appeared the most "normal" were the ones who....  (drum roll)...  got their driver's license at the same time as their traditionally-schooled peers.

Laugh all you want, but this has turned into an extensive study by my friends who asked every homeschool alumni they've encountered since this theory was devised on a train to Venice in 2002.  We've developed some theories on this.  First of all, it is an expression of why you are homeschooled in the first place.  Homeschooling is an opportunity to engage the world and culture through the family-- not be sheltered from it.  For example, as kids we used to talk openly about current events at the dinner table, my parents listening to us as we shared our thoughts and solutions about the problems of the world.  No topic was taboo.  This is engaging the world-- but through the family.  We were also active in our parish, community service and pro-life activities.  All of this allowed us to encounter lots of different people and understand that was how the world was.  "Sheltering" would be refusing to acknowledge the challenges of the world or interact with anyone different so that students are completely unprepared when they encounter it, brute force, when they leave the nest.

Allowing kids to get their driver's licenses gives them a common milestone with their peers (they have so few others-- no lockers, pep rallies or freshman hazing) and gives them a little bit of independence to begin exploring the world on their own.  It involves taking  a test from someone who isn't related to them and answering to authority that isn't their parents-- and important step.

I have other theories about how homeschoolers can be well-socialized, but my friends and I have determined that the drivers license is the first way.  Even if you're rolling in a 13 passenger van, it's your first taste of freedom and gives you an experience to share with your peers.

the latest best thing ever...

I'm sure I'm not the only youth minister out there who, while trying to not get too hung up on messiness, still cannot believe the capacity of youth to make a mess.  I mean, when a 9th grader eats popcorn, I swear it multiplies in their hands and they intentionally drop half of it on the ground.  My time in food and beverage has me trained to grab a broom at the first hint of a dirty floor, so I've really had to supress that instinct or my "relational ministry" looks more like "merry maids". 

Beverages always pose a particular challenge, I learned that pouring vs. cans vs. juice boxes are all about the same, the only good strategy is very, very small cups so that the puddle you find under the couch two and a half weeks after the spill is, at least, only the size of a dixie cup.  (moving furniture often is always a good idea.  for lots of reasons, but especially the fact that pizza smells, eventually.  better to find it before that point)>  Anyways, hot chocolate is always a win but seems to be a huge challenge between portioning the powder, hot water and mixing.  Enter the CL400BR-60-Ounce-Hot-Cocoa Maker  for the win. 

and no, I did not pay that much for it.  found it at TJ Maxx this weekend.

The beauty of it is that it elminates about twenty of the hazardous steps-- you pour water and hot chocolate mix in, it mixes, heats and dispenses from a spigot.  Not to mention that it can sense when it's getting cold and keeps the hot chocolate at a perfect temperature for hours yet not so hot that kiddos will burn themselves.  Plus, there is no pouring involved which we know to be a win if you've got middle schoolers remotely near liquids.  

Technology never ceases to amaze me.