and we don't even use vuvuzelas...

I, for one, would've attended the World Cup in the US for... uh...  love of the game?

 

Originally published in The Bluffton Packet:

By ALISON GRISWOLD

Published Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Watching the players in the World Cup reminds me of one of my most embarrassing moments involving my college's soccer team -- and my friend Ann failing to look out for me.
Ann had invited me over to her house for an evening cookout her fiance and his family. Despite the fact that her fiance was the soccer coach, I was not intimidated by hanging out with him (taken) and his family (from Detroit). So I rolled out of bed from a nap, threw on jeans and a T-shirt and went to what I thought would be a quaint family gathering. What Ann failed to mention was that this was a quaint family gathering with her fiance, his family and his entire team.

I don't know what it is about soccer players. Maybe it's that, unlike many sports, they don't wear helmets so you can actually see their faces as they casually push hair out of their eyes with a savvy that Justin Bieber could never pull of. Maybe it's that they all have accents. Maybe I haven't gotten over my crush on the coach from "Bend it Like Beckham." In short, I wished I had dressed differently for the evening.
Ann, being blissfully engaged, was oblivious to the fact that the scenery in her Ohio home had dramatically improved, and I'm not talking about the river cleanup. She was excitedly introducing me to her future in-laws when one of the soccer players, a graduate theology student with dirty blond hair and blue eyes asked, "Who's your friend?" So I extended my hand and said brightly, "I'm Alison's friend, Ann." Yes. I forgot my own name. And introduced myself as Ann.

I was mortified. But it served as an important lesson to me: There will always be moments when you are caught off-guard by life and literally cannot think of what to say, even if it's your own name. Sometimes it's an innocent problem and you merely embarass yourself, but sometimes it's serious. The question, when you're left speechless regarding sin, is simply this: Who are you really hurting?

One of my favorite illustrations of this is in Charlotte Bronte's "Jane Eyre." If you haven't read the book, you should. But allow me to spoil the climax for you. Jane Eyre has fallen in love with Mr. Rochester, and discovers he is married. He tries to convince her to run away with him anyway. She wants to, and he asks who, exactly, they would be hurting?

Jane's reply is so eloquent that you should read the whole bit, but let me summarize. She acknowledges at the moment, her feelings have completely carried her away. She wants to be with the man she loves to the point where she describes herself as "mad." But she firmly states, "I will keep the law of God, sanctioned by men... Laws and principles are not for times when there is no temptation; they are for moments as this... If at my individual convenience I might break them, what would be their worth?"

Now, maybe it won't be as dramatic as a wealthy Englishman asking us to be his mistress, but we all encounter moments where we are at a loss as to the right answer. Our feelings may push us one way, even though we know deep down that way isn't a good idea. I re-read this passage often to remember that the law of God exists for one's well-being and the common good. In the end, it works out for Jane. And when we do what's right, it works out for us, too.

It's.... Advent!

Making a list and checking it twice?  this will make you think. 
In a day when people are punching each other over toasters at Target, I think they're onto something here. 

oh, Justin Bieber...

I didn't see it but people cooler than I who were watching the AMA's tweeted that Bieber was rocking this rosary as a necklace while he performed.  oh, kids wear the darndest things.

Now, I don't know if it counts when you replace the Blessed Mother with a "D&G" label, but rosaries, and variations of them are all the rage these days.

My dear friend Adam who is my polar opposite in pretty much everything except our mutual love of red wine, Glee, and the art of sarcasm rocked a rosary as a necklace a few years ago.  It was one of the first times I felt that I really knew someone well enough to say something.  My awkward moment of evangelization went something like, "uh so friend, I know that you wouldn't want to intentionally offend anyone, so can I be completely honest and say that you wearing a rosary, something I pray with, as a fashion accessory...  kinda does?"

Because he's cool, he pocketed the rosary and patiently accepted the booklet on praying the rosary that I gave him.  He tried to salvage his purchase and wear it two more evenings when he didn't think he'd be around Catholics, but after unexpectedly running into me and every other catholic he knew that evening I think he got spooked and retired it to a nail hanging over his sink. 

While I don't advocate the rosary as an accessory and certainly think Lady Gaga needs to be catechized on this, it's not very understood by many, including Catholics.  Rather than cry "sacrilege", don't miss the opportunity to share why you pray the rosary.

the nun run...

I haven't actually seen the whole episode, given that 1) it was broadcasted during middle school youth group and the first part was about a woman who married a man in prison.  I didn't feel the need to introduce "conjugal visit" to the 6th graders vocabulary.  also, 2) we do not have DVR.  But we survive.

Anyways, the clip with our girls actually made the cut.  So proud, you can see them here.

I will say, they condensed about 13 minutes into twenty seconds seamlessly...  it's a little scary how well they can edit.  I thought they made the girls sound really good, but yikes, they've got power.

and read more about our "nun run" in the Catholic Miscellany.

Digital Drama

There’s a new teen night in town, have your kids heard about it? It features topless underage girls, any type of language is permitted and slanderous rumors spread like crazy. Kids come and go—some able to shrug off the insults that are hurled at them, while others are devastated by the damage to their reputation. At least two have killed themselves because of their experiences of being harassed. Disturbed? Look no further than your child’s phone or facebook. It’s where it’s all happening these days.

In no way does it make up for the offense to humanity that is “Jersey Shore”, but my friend alerted me to a helpful resource MTV has set up to educate teens and parents about the dangers of bullying on-line, via text messages and the trend of “sexting” (sending sexual photos on ones cell phone). Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a text and twitter addict, but these resources can be abused. Phones and facebook are not evil, but poor supervision is causing a world of hurt and permanent damage to teens and their reputations. On www.athinline.org, MTV displays information that everyone should know about before they take pictures or share information on their phone or internet.

Even when teens are with their friends it’s not unusual to see their phones in hand, fingers constantly fluttering over their keypads, either texting friends not present or, in a more advanced maneuver, “table texting” the people next to them to say things they don’t want the rest of the group to hear. I often complain that texting is affecting their ability to socialize—you’d be worried if your kids were only speaking in spurts of 140 letters at a time—but now it’s becoming evident that hurtful words and images said are spreading much faster than an old-fashioned note on paper ever did.

This isn’t just a case of “kids saying the darndest things”. Whether it be comments on a profile or photo album, texts or pictures, it’s slanderous and sometimes even illegal. When I stumble upon any kind of drama with teens, my initial reaction is to hope that they’ll work it out as the adults that they are becoming, but I am realizing that teens need more guidance and at times intervention from parents and other adults when it comes to this new social venue. Technology is confusing and it’s challenging to navigate the profiles, passwords and trends but as adults we must mentor youth, even if it means doing a little research first.

Sirach 6:5-6 warns that “a kind mouth multiplies friends, and gracious lips prompt friendly greetings. Let your acquaintances be many, but one in a thousand your confidant”. This is sound advice for social networking and texting. The words that we say-- whether typed, twittered or texted-- are permanent and can be passed around cyberspace indefinitely. In a world where we’re so cautious about where children are and who they’re with, we need to recognize just how far the boundaries of a cell phone or facebook profile extend and be just as vigilant about what is said and done.

Faith and Works

Faith and Works:


Watching winter sports is fascinating. I can relate to track and field, soccer, volleyball and other stuff that used to happen in gym class but things like curling, skiing and the luge completely elude me. Besides my brief, tragic experiences on the rink in Savannah I have very little knowledge of what snow and ice are actually like, so the winter Olympics might as well be held on the moon—life in Vancouver is just as foreign.

I didn’t even know that ice hockey was a legit sport (I thought that “The Mighty Ducks” was based on a game made up for the sake of the story, like Quidditch) until spending four years in Ohio where people come from states with actual teams and had opinions about which is best. Like any sport, I usually only express interest if it helps strike up conversation with a cute boy, but last Sunday evening I found myself watching the U.S. vs. Canada hockey game for it’s own sake. It was exciting and violent.

Watching the instant re-play of the final goal for team US, my friend remarked that Canada had removed their goalie to have an extra man on offense. As I’ve said, I know very little about sports and especially nothing about hockey, but I remember from my Island Rec Center soccer days that a goal should not be left un-tended (or no oranges at team snack-time). I understand that this is a last-ditch strategy that occasionally works, but to me it seems foolish to leave a goal completely un-tended.

It did make me think that the balance of defense and offense is an analogy for the spiritual life (I acknowledge that’s a strange way to see a game. I can’t help it.) Soccer, hockey, basketball and all those sports that require attention to both scoring and defending the goal demonstrate the need to balance our faith and our actions. You can’t win a game without scoring points against the other team just like you can’t grow closer to Christ without following him with actions like service and worship. Volunteer work, mission trips and singing hymns are actions that draw us closer to God. However, actions are not enough.

As Canada painfully learned, defense is also critical to winning. A team could score a hundred points and lose if the other team scored a hundred and one. Similarly it’s not enough to be a nice person doing nice things if we want to grow closer to Christ. It’s also necessary to nurture and defend our faith against the influence of evil and doubt. In his letter to Timothy, Paul reminded him “to stir into flame the gift of God you have…for God did not give us a spirit of cowardice but rather of power and love and self-control” (2 Timothy 1:6-7). Faith is nurtured through prayer, scripture and rejecting evil. Those following Christ have a real enemy waiting to step in and score when their defenses are down.

The book of James summarizes this balance, explaining that belief in God is important, but “even the demons believe that” (James 2:19). There must be a balance of both faith in God and action, “see how a person is justified by works and not by faith alone… just as a body without a spirit is dead, so also faith without works is dead” (James 2:24, 26). St. Augustine summarized this balance, saying, “pray as if everything depends on God, and work as if everything depends on us”.

Growing in Christ

There’s few things I dislike more than getting in shape. Sure, after a month of beating your body into submission, training the will and expanding your lungs, running and lifting feels slightly less torturous and you can start appreciating the endorphin high. It’s the initial days of stretching out your joints which have rusted into place after eating cheese and re-watching the first season of “Glee” that are brutal.

Like anyone in their twenties, the last several summers have become completely dedicated to weddings. While I love dressing up, it’s a reality check when you log onto Facebook that Monday to find that you’ve been tagged in multiple pictures which showcase your un-toned arms. One summer with that on your record and the motivation to exercise comes much easier. I do not want my Facebook legacy to be “fat bridesmaid”.

Even though the motivation was there, the thought of a gym left me feeling really unsettled. I put if off for a long time because I had visions of walking in and encountering the cast of “Jersey Shore”— sculpted, tanned, toned and teased. Rather than suffer such comparisons, I made some feeble attempts to get in shape on my own. This quickly left me bored—you can only do so many pilates from youtube before you lose your motivation and it’s hard to push yourself in the comfort of your own home, when no one is watching. Clearly, a gym was my only hope for actually getting in shape.

Much like the kids who are afraid of kindergarten because they don’t know how to read and people who think they are too sick to go to the doctor, it was illogical to think I had to be in shape to join a gym. I finally just went and found that while there are a few who approach Spinning with the intensity of an Olympiad (your bike is NOT MOVING! Calm down, would ya?) many are like me—pasty, average and just hoping to shed a few pounds to look good for the summer. Furthermore, there’s a camaraderie that exists among people working towards a similar goal that you just can’t get from watching “Buns of Steel” alone in your living room. A little competition encourages intensity.

Many approach religion or church with the same hesitancy. Just as I feared encountering a level of fitness that I couldn’t live up to, they expect to encounter sanctity that will make them feel inadequate. They think church is just a place for Mother Teresa and Billy Graham to have coffee and doughnuts and there’s no place for real people with real problems and sin. However, much like I could never have changed my body if if I didn't take that initial plunge and allow myself to be challenged by trainers and those around me, our souls cannot change if we attempt to do it all on our own.

Any Church community will be full of people who are very advanced in their walk with God as well as those who are just starting out. Holiness is not a competition, but we benefit from witnessing how others have handled the same challenges we face, much like I was motivated by those who could run faster and lift more than me.

In the Gospel of John, Christ reminds us, “Remain in me, as I remain in you. Just as a branch cannot bear fruit on its own unless it remains on the vine, so neither can you unless you remain in me.” (John 15:4-5). Taking the steps to be connected can be intimidating, but unless we are connected to Christ we cannot grow.